One of my heroes, Dr Joshua David Stone (the author of Soul Psychology) taught through many of his books, the importance of being 'a love finder, not a fault finder'. I have found this to be of great value in my relationships with others.
Often times we are tempted to see the negative things people are saying or doing, and then we let resentment develop, and we hold grudges if not consciously, but subconsciously as well. And when conflict arises, we explode!
I have found that to keep relationships in harmony, in even the most challenging ones (with people closest to you) learning to be a 'love finder' i.e. seeing the good in others helps to change our attitudes towards them.
Dr Stone shared some wonderful tools through his books, and one of them is: writing a gratitude log. This is a log where you list all the things you are grateful for, and this is a wonderful one to do whenever you feel conflict or resentment arising in your relationships with others.
My husband Toby and I have adapted the gratitude log into a relationship gratitude log. We share a notebook, and a few times a week, we share our thoughts with each other in this notebook - sharing what we are grateful for in each other. This has definitely helped us to be love finders instead of fault finders!
Being a love finder also helps one to have a better relationship with self! For one becomes more forgiving for mistakes made, instead of being critical of self.
So go on...... be a love finder! :-)